A Sweet Repose

O Lord, in the morning you hear my voice; in the morning I prepare a sacrifice for you and watch.

Psalm 5:3

Right now to be completely honest, I really don’t feel like waking up expectant. All three of my little ones must have concocted a plan (unbeknownst to me) to simultaneously need my attention all throughout the night.

Yet in the darkness of this space before everyone tiptoes out of their rooms, I sit. Coffee’s hot. No one needs me. A wide open day spread before me. I used to tremble at that wide open space, not knowing how in the world I was to be everything for my people all day every waking moment, especially if I got hardly any sleep. No wonder I used to tremble. Where did I veer off the path of His peace to begin plodding on one that is full of frenzy and such self-importance? Actually…I think I was on that path yesterday. There is not a lot of distance between the right now me and the frenzied me. Such is life. Drink in the grace, Lauren.

But before the dawning of a new day, if I allow myself a moment to sit in the presence of the Lord stripping away every self-made part of me, I take off expectations of productivity and stellar family memories and happiness abounding and instead expect this:

“There will be beauty found here. ”

When I frame the day like this, then beauty begins to pop out of the wood work everywhere. Glittering brown sugar on aprons, band-aid donned knees, new books being read, laughter, “I’m sorry” that came without a prompt from me, pine trees swaying, “I lOVE Dabby” written lovingly on an envelope.