A Sweet Repose

“All I see
Is your beauty chasing me
And the love that sets me free
I am found in You.”

All Sons & Daughters, Tonight

Every day, words come into my head a mile a minute it seems. Word pictures and metaphors and connections and deeply moving things. But it seems as of late, that when I finally have a moment alone to revisit those thoughts, the unwinding and synthesizing of those precious thoughts have lost their luster. Or require brain cells that I justify I don’t have anymore, or am too weary to tap into. And so then there I sit. Wishing I could articulate something from the beauty found all day long, yet defeated by the incoherent nature of my mind that feels like its walls are a colander leaking everything out into nowhere.

I know I’m not alone in this. Especially as a mother.

I think one reason why I so enjoy taking pictures and being outside in nature is because I am able to sit in beauty that has NOTHING TO DO WITH MY MANUFACTURING. If I were to put me into the equation at all, it would simply be that I made the decision to look for it and put myself in the way of it. But that’s it. No “here is this perfect idea that will now be perfectly executed and will then be perfectly documented” expectation. Been there, done that, not worth it.

If we allow our hearts to rest and believe in the worthiness of just BEING, then beauty will come to us. His “goodness and mercy shall follow/chase/pursue [you] all the days of [your] life.” (Psalm 23:6)

When you come to the end of a day and your words need translation without a translator, its okay. We need to release this idea that at the end of our waking moments we “need something to show for it.” But if you long for something to hold, something to bring closure, then might I encourage you to be on the lookout for all things beauty that have nothing to do with you? I promise it will wash over you as blessing and will get you excited to wake up tomorrow just for the hunt of it. And will allow you to lay your head on your pillow that night knowing that you scooped up beauty that day and it was ENOUGH.

The way you notice your two year old drawing a sun on the driveway.

The details of a new flower.

The way new leaves burst out of bloom in miniature size.

The newfound bravery of a cautious daughter.

The conflict you overheard resolved from another room.

The sunspot on the living room floor after a day of straight rain.

So let’s look for beauty today that has nothing to do with our production or effort aside from noticing. Not because we are unworthy of reflection, but because there is sweet surrender in just showing up and beholding beauty for the sake of it. Would love to hear something you beheld today that you just happened to be in the way of.